Amsterdam is interesting.  I’m 47, single, 10000% having a midlife crisis, solo, lacking confidence in my ability to be a provider, and taking it all too seriously. …talk about throwing myself into the fire.

I’ve walked about 40 miles since Wednesday, around in circles, and I am overwhelmed by the beauty and age of this city, but completely underwhelmed by the commercialism.

What am I supposed to do?  Saddle up to some random bar and just sit there, waiting to meet some people and be a social animal?  (One of the goals of this experiment is surely to get back to having social confidence). It seems a bit too sloppy for me.

Would I have had some fun in red-light?  I don’t think so….  It isn’t sexy.  It surely was interesting and continues to be interesting to walk around in circles, looking at the girls in the windows, looking at the madness of it all?  You’d think I would be chewing this up… but it just feels dirty… used.  Unsanitary.  But no less interesting.  It’s like, I’m walking around that area hoping to find something to excite me… but it all just seems sad. 
And then, of course… it feels gross to think about bringing this experience into whatever is next, in Paris & onwards.  I absolutely wouldn’t want to share a bed with someone who “bought something” in Amsterdam’s Red Light District a few days ago.

The Anne Frank House was a powerful reminder of the evil that exists in this world.  There were a few moments there where it might have been almost too powerful. Not something I care to get into here and now.

Rijksmuseum was pretty amazing, and I believe this should be the start of seeing some incredible classic works…. I had a few moments in there where I actually felt something.  I can’t say I understood a lot of what I’ was looking at, both historically and artistically, but as my day went on, I was learning and noticing a lot more nuance.  While I love the work, I wish I had more knowledge of European History.  I think that would enhance anyone’s appreciation for these classic works.  I have no context for a lot of it.  But wow… I haven’t looked at art like this in years, and I have so many more of these incredible things to look forward to. At a few points I imagined these paintings would influence my photos. I like shadows, but these masterworks give me new appreciation for how to use light, and be more aware of it in every scene.

A bit disappointing about not having tickets for the Van Gogh museum, but I will get to see some of the best of his works in Paris.

I said this yesterday…. This city would be a ton more fun with a wingman.  I’m not sure you come here with your girlfriend or wife unless you’re really looking for specific works of art. Pehraps there’s completely different vibe in warmer seasons. Probably. Smoking weed in public was something I’d have gone nuts over 30 years ago, and in the present day, it’s just not that exclusive anymore. It seems like the place to get wasted with someone having your back.  Or someone to get arrested with. I couldn’t imagine being here alone and getting so fucked up… They sell shrooms everywhere.  No fucking way I am I walking around tripping balls, alone, in this city. Maybe it’s the New Yorker in me, or all the fear-mongering about pickpockets in Europe… being alone walking around…  I feel on alert, and even more-so when I have my camera around my neck.  Even the small one.

Overall, I have’t found the food here to be anything exciting. It’s all hyper-unhealthy. (I mean, waffles, pancakes, potatoes…. all the things I try to stay away from.) It’s been challenge for me to find something that isnt directly marketed to the least common denominator of cuisine. There’s a vibrant Chinatown here…. with a nice selection of other Asian cuisine here. I had one of the best Ramen meals I’ve ever had, on my first night. Yesterday, I had “Amsterdam’s best burger,’” at Canibale Royale. It was pretty fantastic. I had a great omelette at Omelegg in De Pijp district for breakfast on Thursday. On the surface, this city doesn’t look like it has great food outside those before mentioned staples, yet I’ve had three meals that were quite good and none of them had powdered sugar nor mayonnaise on heaped on top of them.

You might notice that the images from day 1 look different from everythig else. I edited those the same day, and I definitely see this city differently today than I did when I first arrived. You might notice I added a blue cast to the skies, because I was surprised at how grey everything was here. I think I might have been a little aspirational? I now see and appreciate the beauty of the gray of this city. I left the first day images as they were edited on Wednesday, to illustrate this difference in perspective.

My walking mileage so far:

Wednesday: 10.89Mi

Thursday: 13.71Mi

Friday:13.77Mi

Saturday: 2.6Mi (so far)

Oh, I watermarked these images. Not sure why. I was playing around with my Wacom and signatures a few weeks ago, and I liked this one so I saved it. It feels weird to “sign” my work like this, but having seen some of the most famous works of art in the world, and they’re almost all signed…. maybe it’s rubbing off on me already. I wouldn’t sign a client portrait, and despite watermarking event images, I still find it cheesy…. let’s see how I feel after these have been up and watermarked for a while.